The Royal Decrees of, The Empress Dammit, exist to remind you that you are no one’s doormat! These declarations are meant to reach into your heart and mind and inspire the knowledge that no one else can dictate your worth. Each of us can be an "Empress." Look into the mirror of your heart and claim your crown. Wear it proudly. No one can take this away from you!

 The Royal Decrees of The Empress Dammit 
​How To Live Like An Empress
  1. The Empress is NOT invisible. If you can’t see her, she will repay in kind. If it's shade you want, you will get plenty.
  2. The Empress may ask for WHATEVER she desires. If someone says no, she will be gracious. We all have the right to ask and when asked, to say, yes or no.
  3. The Empress is the arbiter of her own worth. The Empress does not look for validation from outside.  Knowing who you are does not come from outside yourself.
  4. The Empress has facilitated her own coronation knowing that no one else can really give you your power. You must look within yourself and claim it.
  5. The Empress commands respect by her very nature. She respects herself and she respects others until they have earned her disrespect.
  6. The Empress does not suffer Princesses gladly. The difference between a Princess and The Empress is that the Empress does not need to be coddled or waited on hand and foot. The Empress is self-sufficient. She is perfectly capable of getting what she needs for herself and when she needs help, she asks for it without shame.
  7. While the Empress delights at being invited, if she wants to go somewhere or see someone she should not hesitate to make a suggestion. Waiting around pining does not fill one’s social calendar.
  8. The Empress doesn’t hesitate to tell the people she cares about that it is so. She knows it’s important to say and do things in the now. Tomorrow doesn’t offer guarantees of second chances!
  9. The Empress relishes a genuine compliment and accepts it gladly. She also doesn’t hold back on the praise. Some people mistake keeping positive comments away from others as holding some sort of power. The Empress sees this for what it is; ridiculous!
  10. The Empress is not here to make excuses for you or help you carry your old crusty baggage. As your friend, if you ask, she will enthusiastically help you unpack and discard what you don’t need. She’ll also understand if you need to hold onto it a little longer, but she won’t pretend it isn’t there.
  11. The Empress sees the value in positive thinking, but has no patience for gaslighting or toxic positivity. She will not suffer your 'isms lightly either. The Empress knows how to wield a pair of scissors. She finds them equally useful for crafty purposes and for cutting through nonsense!
  12. The Empress loves you unconditionally, but she does not approve of her love being used as a carpet pad instead of a blanket!
  13. The Empress has learned that forgiveness is NOT necessary for healing, it does not make one the “better person” and sometimes forgiveness is just plain bullshit. Of course when someone is willing to take responsibility for their transgressions, forgiveness naturally follows. However, some people do things that are unforgivable and will never acknowledge the harm they have done. While, The Empress does not advocate holding a grudge, she sees no reason to pretend the slate is wiped clean! What is important for healing is not forgiveness, but acceptance. Acceptance allows one to truly let go and move on. That said, if forgiveness works for you, by all means have at it!
  14. The Empress knows that sometimes people are given a precious gift, but they don’t know what to do with it. If asked to go, The Empress will leave with dignity, but she may not go quietly. If deemed appropriate she will personally deliver a “howler!”
  15. The Empress has an open door policy, and she does her best to temper her words with kindness, however, don’t ask the Empress what she thinks if you don’t want an honest opinion.
  16. As you may have gathered, The Empress speaks the truth. The Empress sings HER TRUTH out loud and clear. The Empress often holds up a mirror so you can see your truth. When doing this, The Empress must be comfortable with making other people uncomfortable at times. 
  17. The Empress  is a seeker. She is always questioning. She has a large ring of keys and will keep opening drawers, doors, boxes and secret passageways until she finds the answers she needs. But the Empress also knows that there aren’t always answers. The Empress knows one doesn’t always get closure. One learns to accept living with the mystery.
Don’t expect to this to all sink in at once.
Don’t expect to be perfect. It takes time and practice to believe in your value and people won’t always cooperate when you start to stand up for yourself.
Maybe all of these declarations don’t fit. Maybe you will have some of your own.
​The Empress knows you are worth it. She believes in you!  Go ahead. shine!
With Love,
The Empress Dammit